after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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