Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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