the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
