I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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