I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
