so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
