I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
