I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
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There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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