Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
