Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
honey bunches of taint.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
