I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
