i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
