If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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