I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
