Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
