Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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