This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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