once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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