My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
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