In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
