I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
