And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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