I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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