I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize