i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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