I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
