I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
