we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
