doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He passed out mid-signature
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
