There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
