Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
