And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize