Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
