she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize