brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Two words: blizzard sex
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
