I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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