Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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