kristin has been a bad kristin
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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