yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
