are you still at the devil's house?
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
