If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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