I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I didn't notice because vodka
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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