Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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