I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Come on in and take your pants off
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