Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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