were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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