I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
