Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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