scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
