something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
