So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
