This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
