Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
