Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
