I'm really into asian looking animals
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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