I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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