If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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