And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
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i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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