i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
