So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
