I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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