2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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