The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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