I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
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N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
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All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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